Dear Bridal Becky,
My fiance and I are getting married in three months. All she talks about is the seating chart for the wedding reception. She wants me to help her organize it. I really do not care, who sits where. If it were up to me, I would let every choose where they would want to sit. But, my fiance keeps on telling me that’s not the way it is done. Becky, can you help me to understand, why we need a seating chart?
Nervous Ned from Niobe
Dear Ned,
Banquets for fewer than fifty guests usually breaks tradition as a rule with formality. However, the size of your reception must take into account many nuances that will be up to you and your bride to decide upon. The larger the reception the more organization is required of the caterer and waitstaff. Fortunately for you it should be of no surprise that within the formal setting of a wedding there is well established etiquette consisting of the necessary protocol for proper seating arrangements.
A combination of common sense and a healthy level of awareness will be required to complement as well as organize the proper seating arrangement. A well organized reception not only serves to avoid any confusion, but allows your guests to find their places, relax and reduce any anxieties that they might be experiencing. No one wants to sit at a table consisting of complete strangers. My advice is to do your best to ensure that couples who want to sit together actually do and try not to isolate a member of the gang. People have a tendency to enjoy themselves more when they know some of their dinner companions.
My suggestion is that your parents will provide the best results in the seating arrangements of their friends. In doing so, they will appreciate the opportunity to participate. When mixing involves seating couples and singles use some of that good old common sense to prevent someone from feeling uncomfortable or out of place.
The bride and groom are seated at what is referred to as the head table which is always the focal point of the room. Traditionally, the groom is seated to the right of the bride and the best man sits to her left. The maid of honor sits to the groom’s right. The size of the table dictates going forward just how many of the attendants and significant others are able to join the newlyweds. The family tables composed of the parents of the bride and groom sit opposite each other and often include the grandparents, the wedding officiant and other close friends. Please bear in mind that in the event of divorced parents it’s recommended and quite appropriate for each parent to host his and her own table, differing any awkwardness or discomfort. Should there be several children at the wedding, seat them together separately at a kids’ table. However, if the only children present happen to be the flower girl and ring bearer, seat them with their parents.
Once you have completed the seating chart, the only thing left to decide is how you choose to guide them to their respective seats. The options come in the form of either place cards, escort cards or a seating chart. Tented place cards can be placed upon a table at the entrance of the reception room in alphabetical order. They assign each guest with a table number. Upon locating the table guests are expected to seat themselves. Escort cards represent the more formal option. The guests’ names appear on the outer envelope with their table number designated on a card inside. Place cards await them at their table designating their seats. A seating chart is also presented in alphabetical order and should be displayed in a nice frame at the entrance of the reception room. The chart designates the assigned table and the option is present to have them either seat themselves or have place cards awaiting them.
Please take note that after the dinner everyone will want to get up and mingle anyway so the seats will inevitably change. Keep in mind that this is a wedding and not a convention so I strongly recommend that you resist any temptation to use name tags. Your guests are more than capable of making their own introductions. Good luck and have a good time. I’m sure that your guests will!
Bridal Becky
‘Reception Seating’ by egleasondesign
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Treasury tool supported by the dog house
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Elizabeth Gleason
@tintpress
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Thanks so much for including my seating chart in your treasury and blog. I am happy to help anyone who is in need of a seating chart (including last minute brides/grooms, since I can generally turn them around in 1-2 days).
Love your site and thanks again!